guest post: wishcake
One day on twitter, this amazingly talented designer tweeted words to the effect of “yay, new designs in the shop!” and I clicked over. Because I always click over. Because didn’t you see the part where I said she was an amazingly talented designer? Anyway. I checked out her Etsy shop and found a little wallet that I fell in LOVE with. I dm’d her and asked if she’d make it a skosh bigger for me. And after she told me that she’d have new designs up within a couple weeks she commented on the fact that I said skosh. Which, apparently, she says a lot. ‘cuz she’s a small-town kid like me. And no one else in So. Cal says it. Which will HAVE to change if I move there. But I digress. Anyway, THAT, my friends, is how I became bloggy buddies with the lovely (and amazingly talented) Wishy. When I was thinking about who to ask to guest blog, she was the first person i thought of. And then i was like “mmm, do we really know each other well enough? Can i ask her to do that? Would it be weird? Would it seem like it’s coming out of left field?” Like Ash said about herself yesterday, I too, am very self-aware. Mostly aware of trying not to look like a dork. So when I got an email back from her saying she’d guest blog, I was over-freaking-joyed. Wishy. Guest blogging. For me. *GUSH.* Seriously, guys. LOVE THIS GIRL. I know I do. And she’s totally not on my axis of evil. ; )
I have something to confess: I have never written a guest blog. And I have no idea why. Well, scratch that – I do know why. It’s because I always get nervous and sweaty when I have to write something in a specific time frame. I also think, “I have to be witty, don’t I? But I can’t be witty within a specific time frame! And now I’m sweating!” (I have issues, obviously.) In any case, I figured that it was about time that I expand my horizons and venture out into the great abyss that is guest blogging. Especially for someone as peachy as Raeleigh! Seriously. She is a gem. But I’m sure you already know that!
And here I am. With my first guest blog. How exciting! (I’m not even sweating yet, which I’m taking as a good sign.)
So, moving on.
A couple years ago I did a post on my blog where I listed out things I felt belonged on my own, personal Axis of Evil. I find that making lists helps me control my outward expression of irritation. Whenever something rubs me the wrong way (for example: if I see a photo of Taylor Momsen) I want to scream out, “I JUDGE YOU!” and add whatever it is to my mental list of things/people/shenanigans that annoy me. And I may or may not want to punch a baby, too. (Don’t worry, I haven’t literally punched a baby. Yet.) In any case, to protect myself from the lawsuits that will most likely follow the punching of small children within my general vicinity, I though I’d just make a new and improved “Wishcake’s Axis of Evil”.
So, without further ado:
1. Unusually quiet public restrooms.
2. Most middle-schoolers.
3. Nylons.
4. The afore mentioned Taylor Momsen. (I’m highly disturbed by her hair, make-up and every single fashion choice she has ever made in the last year.)
5. Lady Gaga’s red lace human-burrito outfit from the VMAs. (HATE.)
6. The cost of homes in Southern California.
7. Possums. (Specifically the one that gave me the stink-eye a couple years ago when I was trying to get into my garage.)
8. Hipster Urban Outfitters employees who dress like they are homeless.
9. Tiny men who grow large mustaches to look…older? More distinguished? Ridiculous?
10. When I’m at work and people call me on the phone saying, “You called me.” Um, don’t be stupid. First of all, WHO ARE YOU. Second of all, I DIDN’T CALL YOU. Third of all, IF SOMEONE DID CALL, THEY WOULD PROBABLY LEAVE A VOICEMAIL IF IT WERE THAT IMPORTANT.
11. The overuse of caps. (See? I’m on my own list now. I’ve just been owned.)
12. Perez Hilton.
13. Long fingernails on men.
14. When I’m at Jamba Juice and it takes me 20 minutes to get my drink even though it’s not even busy.
15. People who don’t like grilled cheese sandwiches.
So, people. Now it’s your turn to vent. What are some things that you consider part of your own, personal Axis of Evil? Do share! (And I’ll try to forgive you if you choose to include “people who don’t like people who don’t like grilled cheese sandwiches” on your own list. Or if you’re Taylor Momsen.)
“When I’m at work and people call me on the phone saying, “You called me.” Um, don’t be stupid. First of all, WHO ARE YOU. Second of all, I DIDN’T CALL YOU. Third of all, IF SOMEONE DID CALL, THEY WOULD PROBABLY LEAVE A VOICEMAIL IF IT WERE THAT IMPORTANT.”
THIS IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE. people do it no less than a dozen times a day. I’m all LADY, there are 25 people in this office. I HAVE NO IDEA who called you. The usual reply to this is “Oh. I should go check my voicemail I guess and then i’ll call you right back.”
HATE. HATE. HATE.
I never minded possums since I tend to like things that are furry and funny-looking, until Christmas Day last year when, at night, I walked by a car with my dear small dog (who falls into the “furry and funny-looking” category) and this crazy possum face with teeth bared popped out and growled at my dear dog. Dear dog is normally one to attack things bigger and more dangerous than she (rottweilers) but fortunately that day she hurried on. Very scary. Possums suck.
haha, the unusually quiet restroom one is SUCH a good point. talk about awkward.
So, unusually quiet restrooms… Have I told you about the courtesy bell here in Korea? In big department stores and nice restaurants there is this button (memo to self: snap a picture next time) that you can push and it says “Courtesy Bell” on it. Underneath, there is some Konglish along the lines of, “Push it and flush will make sound.” If you push it, it sounds like a toilet flushing. So, THE END OF QUIET RESTROOMS HAS ARRIVED! You can just flush and flush that sucker without even getting off the pot. And you don’t have to worry about anyone knowing your business. Although, if I hear continual flushing, I pretty much know what’s going down….
my cat used to think it was a possum for a while.. used to play with them and we feed them… my cat has issues….
Those are all good ones. I love grilled cheese. How could someone hate it?
I personally hate Lazy River Rides that only let you go around the lazy river once, then force you (against your own will) to get out of the river and get back in line if you wish to ride it again. Now, is it just me or is the point of the lazy river to be LAZY? Getting out and standing back in line is not lazy.
How can people -not- like grilled sammiches? I’m stunned.